How quickly it all changes

Last night I was going through some old pictures to find a few for my new canvas prints to brighten the bare and empty walls.

As we went through them, there was laughter and giggles from the kids as they looked at their younger years. We chatted and shared some stories behind these pictures and we giggled and ahhed a bit more.

And all the while I could not help but miss how little my babies were. How adorable they were. Their smiles, their quirks, their innocence all frozen in those pictures.

I know that they are growing up, building more memories while becoming more independent and that sounds wonderful in theory but in reality I want you to be my babies forever.

Truth is, I love being the centre of your world and I know that’s entirely selfish but it’s wonderful to have two little humans that think the world of me.  

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Right now I’m going to hold onto as much of your childhood as I can and try and enjoy every minute.  I’m going to soak up your innocence, the beauty of being young and the simplicity it is being a child.  I’m going to immerse myself in being your mummy and I’m going to try and be the best that I can so that I can be the centre of your world a little longer.

I don’t need a man…

I don’t need a man…

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This is by far one of the most popular words I hear from women recently. Be it from my girlfriends… to colleagues… to other blogs I read… hell, I have even said this myself…  These words… said with such passion…. Such control… such belief…

Well… it got me thinking.  What crap… We are just lying to ourselves.

Maybe now isn’t the time when you feel like you need a man in your life. Cos maybe you have been hurt or you were treated badly. Maybe you were cheated on, or treated like dirt. Maybe you were not appreciated or taken for granted. Maybe your life is under major reconstruction. Maybe you’re learning to be happy on your own for the first time in your life…

Whatever it is, something unhealed lies beneath the surface of those words. It has nothing to do with us women being strong, powerful and independent. I think it is more to do with anger, grief, and lack of trust.  Or all it mashed into one.

I know we are independent women.  I know we can do it all without a man. The careers, the family, friends, just about everything actually.  Yes we can juggle and succeed at it all.

But that part of you that claims that you don’t need a man, what’s it’s really all about?  Are we that revolted by the idea of having a loving, intimate, respectful relationship with someone?  Are we that appalled with the idea of sharing, openly communicating, connecting and being heard by a special someone?

Let me guess…. That answer is a no…..

Let’s face it …. Every woman and man for that matter, needs to love and feel loved in return. It’s how we humans are designed… and it’s a beautiful thing too and not something we should be denying or avoiding

Also there’s some deep-rooted part of us, no matter how we try to stifle it, that knows we’re lying to ourselves by saying ….. I don’t need a man …

Just a thought…

Nudity …. What are your thoughts?

So, the topic of nudity in front of the kids has come up allot recently. I think it’s relevant, interesting and a rather important topic…. So I am hoping that I can get other views on this too

I’d like to start by saying that I have always been very comfortable being half nude in my home. Walking from one room to the next in just my undies to get a towel or to check if the food on the stove etc., etc… it’s really no biggie. For me that is. I am not, however, entirely comfortable parading around publically. So ja, now you know where I stand on nudity.

As I mentioned, the topic has seemed to have come up allot around the fact as to whether it is appropriate for the kids.

I have a boy and a girl. And yes they have seen me naked sometimes. If they’re in my room while I’m getting dressed (which is not that often now that they older) I don’t cover myself up. I actually don’t really think about it… and we are all pretty comfortable in our birthday suits. Apart from a few times when my son pointed out that I didn’t have a penis (which was when he was very much younger), he has never commented on my being naked. For us it’s a non-issue. But will it eventually be an issue?

I grew up with two siblings so there has been times when we were naked in front of each other. My parents were pretty open as well… walking around in their undies … ok my dad stopped this as we got into our teenage years. And my sister and I sitting on the bed while my mum got dressed. We actually still do that when we are all together… it is our private time to chat I guess.

But now that I have a son, I’m beginning to wonder. Mostly because I was asked when was I going to stop being half-naked in front of him. And truth is, I hadn’t thought about it. I don’t parade around full frontal when he’s around, but I thought I had more time to walk around in just my undies… and how harmful can it be?

I am sure when he is older, he will let me know what he is comfortable and uncomfortable with… right? he is 9 now.

I have done a bit of reading too. I found this on Ask Dr Gayle… who DR. Gayle is I am not certain…. But she has a few big acronyms next to her name. http://www.askdrgayle.com ….

Anyways here is the question and her answer to it ….

QUESTION: My four-year-old son bathes with either me or his father. He is often in the same room with us while we are getting dressed. At what age might parental nudity be considered inappropriate?

ANSWER: Your naturally occurring nudity is not a problem — as long as you, your husband and child are comfortable with it. In fact, it may easily convey an attitude that reduces shame and increases comfort in your son’s perception of his own body. A healthy relationship to our bodies begins with liking ourselves and acquiring knowledge about how our bodies work. A natural acceptance, conveyed to our children, can promote their own positive self-image and contributes to self-esteem and the development of healthy adult sexuality.

The time for modesty evolves with the needs and comfort levels of all family members. Certainly, by puberty, and usually pre-puberty, a child’s desire for privacy grows. They may even comment on being uncomfortable with nudity in the parent of the opposite sex.

Sometimes, parents begin to feel uncomfortable with nudity as their opposite sex child grows older. Individuals within families must be accommodated with respect to each other,s privacy needs as these feelings emerge. But certainly discussions about these issues are wonderful opportunities to develop your own beliefs and philosophy about nudity and how you decide to address it in your family.

Talk with your partner about the beliefs and attitudes prevalent in your childhood families around nudity. Explore how your respective parents handled this issue and the effects of this on your own development. Talk with other parents to explore their attitudes and beliefs. You might also read the information available at ParentsPlace.com about sex education for young children. Then, continue to develop your own approach to nudity in your family. You are already doing a great job, but your questions indicate that it is time to further develop a shared philosophy for child rearing with your partner.

From reading your letter, all family members appear comfortable with the nudity involved in bathing together and dressing. No inappropriate sexual boundaries are being crossed, and body education is evolving naturally.

And that is exactly what I thought too….

I’m curious to hear your thoughts. What’s your personal take on this? since this is a pretty personal topic.

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It’s Time……

I came across this and thought it was so apt… especially since it is the new year ( well 14 days past.. but who is counting) and so many made resolutions that probably has not lasted, or started… hopefully this can … maybe it is time for me to make a resolution too…

Some of this held some truth in it for me… I kinda have a tendency to not believe (or should I say doubt) , and .. and … and…

and Yes, IT IS TIME

It’s Time.

Time to stop sabotaging yourself by not feeling good enough.

Time to stop hanging out where you are not celebrated.

Time to stop hauling your history round and blocking your flow.

Time to forgive yourself for mistakes….

IT IS Time to start over and know that you are worthy of the life you dream of.

A letter that should have been posted a while ago…

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I have been wanting to post this for the longest time. This is a letter to my ex husband… It did not work between us, we are two such very different people and I do hope that he finds the one that understands his heart.

Dear ex husband

There was a time when we shared our lives as one.
A time when we shared laughs. We shared tears. We shared dreams for the future.

Those were our moments, that was our time.

Now, life has taken a different path. I can’t help but think… how weird life works.
How once a stranger can become someone so important only to become a stranger again.
And now memories shared becomes just that, Memories… memories of a past when we had no idea what the future held.  And we still don’t actually.

But now look at us…

Almost 2 years down the line and all that is left as a reminder of what once was, are our children.

And now… YOU ARE YOU, AND I AM ME …

And as we fade further from each other’s lives, we have learned again that heartache is natural. Failed relationships are natural … but through it all we will learn to love and grow again.

We will share our lives, our laughs, tears and dreams with another who accepts us, as we accept them.

And hopefully one day, we will have smiles.

Smiles of silent comfort that we have found happiness. Smiles that understand that this is the way things were meant to be.

 Your ex wife

This year I have learned a little more

I have learned that for every bit of sadness there will always be moments of happiness.

I have learned that the simplest of moments bring the greatest of joys.

I have learned that the hardest goodbye sometimes leads to the best hellos.

I have learned that the crazy chances guide us to unexpected outcomes.

I have learned that the smallest steps leads us to a grandest journey.

I have learned that you have to hold on to your smile everyday because it does get better.

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9

Here is 9 interesting things about number 9 ….

  1.  Important Buddhist rituals usually involve nine monks
  2. In Egyptian mythology, there are nine major gods and goddesses
  3. Before 2006 (when Pluto was officially designated as a non-planet), there were nine planets in the solar system
  4. Nine is strongly associated with the Chinese dragon, a symbol of magic and power
  5. A cat has 9 lives
  6. Beethoven wrote nine symphonies
  7. Golf courses often have nine holes
  8. Bart Simpson has nine spikes of hair (since the second season of The Simpsons)
  9. There are nine members of the Fellowship of the Ring in The Lord of the Rings

But none of these compares to the fact that for the past 9 years… my heart has been filled with an unexplainable love.

Happy 9th birthday to my baby boy…. Mummy loves you forever…..