Posted in General, Heart

I don’t need a man…

I don’t need a man…


This is by far one of the most popular words I hear from women recently. Be it from my girlfriends… to colleagues… to other blogs I read… hell, I have even said this myself…  These words… said with such passion…. Such control… such belief…

Well… it got me thinking.  What crap… We are just lying to ourselves.

Maybe now isn’t the time when you feel like you need a man in your life. Cos maybe you have been hurt or you were treated badly. Maybe you were cheated on, or treated like dirt. Maybe you were not appreciated or taken for granted. Maybe your life is under major reconstruction. Maybe you’re learning to be happy on your own for the first time in your life…

Whatever it is, something unhealed lies beneath the surface of those words. It has nothing to do with us women being strong, powerful and independent. I think it is more to do with anger, grief, and lack of trust.  Or all it mashed into one.

I know we are independent women.  I know we can do it all without a man. The careers, the family, friends, just about everything actually.  Yes we can juggle and succeed at it all.

But that part of you that claims that you don’t need a man, what’s it’s really all about?  Are we that revolted by the idea of having a loving, intimate, respectful relationship with someone?  Are we that appalled with the idea of sharing, openly communicating, connecting and being heard by a special someone?

Let me guess…. That answer is a no…..

Let’s face it …. Every woman and man for that matter, needs to love and feel loved in return. It’s how we humans are designed… and it’s a beautiful thing too and not something we should be denying or avoiding

Also there’s some deep-rooted part of us, no matter how we try to stifle it, that knows we’re lying to ourselves by saying ….. I don’t need a man …

Just a thought…


A working mother who lives in Johannesburg. I thrive on coffee to keep me sane, music to soothe my soul, reading to pretend that I am clever, and most importantly my kids to know that I am loved.

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